Whole 30 Month, Day 3

The subject line pretty much says it all. I finally sat down to try and fix some of the things that I was super frustrated about regarding my website…and ended up completely changing the theme and colors as well as making a new header. It’s not optimal yet, but at least it’s not fugly (remember that word? Late ’90s at its finest).

The TLDR Version

Today I’ve felt overly annoyed and tired. Can you be constantly low-grade hangry all day? Top that off with the chaos of…gasp getting up at 6AM…which…was just…ugh. I used to do this everyday?! Was I drunk? Anyway, this was a great test of how I’d Whole-30 if I had, you know, a life…

And let me tell you…it was bad. Partial breakfast and unsatisfying Mad Greens salad was only improved by Amanda Gleeson’s bomb-ass dinner of ground turkey** and green beans over cauliflower rice that I forgot to photograph b/c I was too stressed. If you want the recipe, check it out from Slender Kitchen by clicking the picture below:

The Whole (30) Story

I’ve always been really bad at breakfast. When I worked an office job, I couldn’t even consider eating until I actually got to work. I’m too tired to think of food before then. Even still, I’ll eat an egg or drink a latte and be good till lunch…sometimes I’ll get too busy to eat (like yesterday) and then have brunch.

The bougie millennial is apparently built into my bones…

So, this morning, I had to go with James so he could get his work truck and planned to eat breakfast in the car. Well, I forgot a spoon for my half avocado so I couldn’t eat it. It had been dubiously ripe to begin with and was straight-up mooshy when I got home.

I tried to eat the other avocado in its generation, but that also was more smoosh than actual food. It sucked because I was really excited for that stupid avocado. But I told myself it would be OK b/c I was going to have Mad Greens for lunch and their salads are awesome.

Their Whole 30-style salads are not awesome. I made the mistake of getting lettuce instead of kale…talk about the flacid wang of the greens world! UGH…And as it turns out, the awesome parts of Mad Greens is the dressing and cheese…who knew. (I knew but tried anyway) Maybe this is the Whole 30 Almighty Sovereign telling me that eating out is a futile endeavor right now…

However the ground turkey stirfry was great except for one thing…did anyone know that many ground turkeys have rosemary extract in them? Like, literally, one of TWO ingredients…Turkey, Rosemary extract. Fortunately for Eric we did NOT kill him as I noticed this fact when I was buying a 2nd pound of GT at the store. So…..we had 1 lb with rosemary and 1 without.

Though, Eric’s dumbass was like “let’s see if it affects me…” and had a bite of it BEFORE his dinner. Yeah…apparently it does and for the rest of dinner he was constantly itchy. Genius…Luckily we forced some benadryl on him and he lived to see another day. So yeah, check your everything before you buy it…yeesh…this world.

Also, since I couldn’t impulse buy snax at the grocery store, I bought a Whole-30 approved dragon. They’re name is Midnight & they are a “they” b/c I’m woke as fuck. Look how cute!!!!

Health-wise I woke up with a headache and rumbly tummy. My bathroom habits are….all over the place & of varying consistency which is not optimal, but it’s not like I crapped my pants or anything so that’s good! LOL Otherwise I feel pretty normal.

The Menu

• Breakfast
• 2 pork sausages (we found a brand with no added grain, sugar or dairy OMG!)
• Hard boiled egg

• Lunch
• Mad Greens Crazy Ivan: SW chicken, no cheese, no croutons, add egg, homemade olive oil/vinegar dressing

• Dinner
• Turkey Stir Fry
• Coconut seltzer & berries mocktail

• Snacks
• All-fruit, fruit leather
• Chile pistachios
• Mixed berries
• Lemon/Lemon zest Lara Bar